[loveyoucj]

My son and daughter in law think that my 10 year old grandson is ADD/ without hyperactivity, my daughter in law has been talking about this for a long time, (since he was three) as she has difficulty dealing with my grandson, he is very, very bright, and sensitive, but does have difficulty getting homework done, and staying on task in school. He has always been a high strung child, sometimes has a hard time making what seems to be simple decisions because he is overthinking the situation at hand. On the other hand, he can sit and play a video game, or engage in a conversation with an adult for a long period of time. I sometimes forget with him that I am talking with a child. The other factor is that their household is very chaotic, there are two other children, their schedule is packed full of constant activity, the home is not a quiet environment conducive to completing homework, he sometimes does not get enough sleep, etc. He does not have quiet place free of constant distraction to be and complete tasks such as homework. They are thinking about putting him on medication, but have consulted with the guidence counselor in school. He makes good grades, is on the honor roll most of the time. He attends a small Catholic School that does not have a large capacity to deal with special needs. He does do much better by his own admittance when he has a very strict ( not harsh), structured teacher. (He has even asked his parents to send him to military school!) I am very concerned, I know that he needs intervention, but I also think family intervention is in order. I don't want to see him unnecessarily put on medication, and I am afraid that my daughter in law in particular is looking to that in order to flatten out his behavior. I am not sure what I can do as a grandmother to help him without his parents perceiving that I am interfering, or that I think they are not good parents.

[bdavis]

ADHD and ADD children can be very smart. I have a 9 year old boy who is inattentive type ADHD and we have him on meds.
I remember when my son was in grade 2 (before meds) the teacher took him down to the principals office to show her something that my son could do that in all her teaching years she had never seen (she had been teaching many years)
My son was able to could any sort of money past the 400.00 mark. I guess this grade it was up to 100, and my son could keep going.......
Just wanna make that point that even smart people can have adhd/add.

We as a family have been through lots with our son, trying to help the situation.
We firmly believe meds are good, since they help level out the chemical imbalance in his brain and try to make it as right as we can so things are easier for him.
I have done lots of reading and so forth, and continue to learn new things about adhd/add.......

If you would like to chat more about it you can email me a [moderator note: email address has been removed]

[tessmesser]

You describe perfectly the child with primarily inattentive ADHD or ADD. He knows that a strict teacher will keep him on task and these kids respond very well to constant task motivation and reminding.

Both my son and I have this type of ADD. My son, who is 11 is also very smart and is in advanced math and reading at school. He was started on medication but did not like the way the very low dose Ritalin made him feel so we took him off of it. He now drinks a cup of coffee every morning.
I was never medicated but once I started drinking coffee in college, my whole life changed!!

Many households are chaotic. A primarily inattentive child will retreat into his head when there is lots of chaos but they will also retreat into their head when there is silence. My son had his worse year in second grade when he was in a classroom with a teacher who dimmed the lights, played meditation music, and had a voice meter to keep the classroom sounds as low as possible.

I was raised in a large, loud, cuban, household. I do not think that my ADD/ADHD would have been any better or different had my home been quiet. The medication will either help him or not and I think that it may be worth a try. The medication will not change all you love about him and he deserves the chance to decide for himself if the medication makes him feel more focused and organized. Good luck to your family. You are lucky as your grandson sounds like a terrific kid!!

Tess
http://primarilyinattentiveadd.blogspot.com/