Autism

[nancy2009]

Hi,
All I know about autism is what I've picked up casually, so I need advice. My son is dating a woman who has a two year old son. The child doesn't talk, doesn't look at people's faces when they talk to him, but he does follow instructions his mother gives him. He doesn't try to communicate except to say 'up' when he wants out of a chair. He only smiles when tickled, otherwise his expression is deadpan. He will let his mother cuddle him when he is tired. He drums on the table or sometimes screams. He doesn't play with toys, but is attached to his pacifier. Looking on the web I learned that not pointing and interacting with others is another symptom.

I am worried about a child who is so unresponsive to things around him. What should I do? Since my relationship with the mother is new, I don't want to say anything, but what if I don't say anything and a diagnosis could make a difference in his life? How do I tiptoe through this minefield? I don't know anything about this disorder, but I'm used to being around children and I have never seen this kind of disengagement before.

I have also noticed that the mother is extremely hopeful when he does things like cuddle her. I wonder if she thinks something is wrong.
I would appreciate any advice- Nancy