[livingwith]

I was sitting at my desk doing analyst work. It was a completely normal day. I had been at work for 3 hours. Next thing I knew I opened my eyes and I was laying on the ground looking at paramedics next to me and about 10 co-workers standing around my cube. My head was killing me and I was completely confused. Later I learned that my boss heard this loud banging sound coming from my cube so he went to see what I was doing. From what I was told, I was having a clonic-tonic seizure right there...Read the full article

[cassiedee]

hi there i know what you are going through i have no support and am embarrassed with my seizures too i have a 4cm brain tumor that has caused me to lose my job my licence my husband doesn't want anything to do with me my kids don't either its a very very lonely feeling and you feel lost most of the time i was diognosed july 13th this year with it mine are black outs i don't move i don't tremble i just don't move for about 10 minutes im afraid to go anyway cause what if i have one somewhere so yea i know how you are feeling it doesn't get any better i just hope you have a hell of alot more support than i do my ex-coworkers are supportive but they have their own lives and families i miss them so much i don't involve them with my life i talk to them once in awhile i stay alone in my house my short term memory is gone there is alot of us out here with this and we must stay strong for us and now we have to put us first our health our seizures must be taken care of don't be embarressed by what happened to you stay strong listen to your doctors things will work out for you me i don't know yet i am trying to stay as strong as i can but it is lowering on a daily basis i'm tired of the fighting tired of being blamed for stuff i wish you well and my thoughts will be with you

[lemontree]

ABC,

About four years ago one of my best friends had a gran mal seizure at work- and I can only imagine how vulnerable it must have made him feel, especially considering it was on opening night, he was halfway through act one, and was in front of an audience of 250 people- it must have been goddamn mortifying! The show was paused for 25 minutes before the stage manager came out and was joined by my very, very wobbly friend, who said, "ladies and gentlemen, i have epilepsy. I have just suffered a seizure- you will not be enjoying the wonderful production of 'the glass mermaid' tonight, but instead have just had the once in life time opportunity of taking part in the most embarrassing moment in my life, which I'm sure will make me a wonderfully humble human being, and for that I thank you.'' he then left the stage to lie down. He performed the show the next night, to raucous applause( I should know I was there:)

He had been a working actor for his whole life, and a diagnosed epileptic for 18 years of it- he said his greatest fear had been fitting on stage until he felt confident as an actor.
He said the seizures were only embarrassing if you were embarrassed about them. Most people are unaware of how to act in an unusual situation, which could be why they were they were staring at you when you fitted- they weren't laughing, or embarrassed for you were they? They were most likely concerned (I would be, wouldn't you?) Walk into work after your break, feeling confident and others will take your lead- yes, I fitted at work last week, and now I'm back-If you'll excuse me I have a whole heap to get on with.

Do you feel vulnerable at work anyway? It sounds like you might do, I can see how a fit may exacerbate your low self esteem - it might reinforce how unsure of yourself you already feel.
What kind of people are you bosses? do you think if they thought you were embarrassing yourself they would let people gather around? If your underwear were showing wouldn't they cover you with a coat? or usher people away? They called paramedics and were obviously concerned- the thought of you being embarrassed was probably such a petty thought to them at the time they didn't even consider it.

My partner owns a small company with significant number of staff- so many medical issues have arisen in the time he has run the company that he and his directorial team acknowledge them as just a part of life- people have epilepsy, and diabetes and chronic fears and food allergies (peanuts cannot be in the office- the scent is enough to send a staff member to hospital) most things that others don't even know about. Don't feel that you fit embarrassed you- no, it can't be controlled like a food allergy- but you don't have to let it control you.
Don't let two years of hard work go to waste- show your bosses how you can lead and deal- keep calm and carry on. I say that to myself all the time- because that what's important. Keep calm and carry on.
You could even go into work and stick a 'what to do in case of seizure' on you cube wall- the incident may have shaken up you colleagues too remember- give them some assurance. Write a thank you card to the bosses that carried you onto the floor- Tell them it meant a lot that they took care of you while you were in a vulnerable position. Show them you can take charge and soon you will feel that way too.
I hope some of this helps and remember- the easy way out is to let the circumstances of your life define you as a human being. Its easy to stop looking for opportunities in a crisis, don't let anyone get you down. you only have one shot at this life.
all the very best to you, and i hope you are okay.

[cassiedee]

hi there im not aloud to go back to work ever my tumor has not grown from the last mri but no more working for me its hard i was a waitress its what i enjoyed loved it to pieces my surgeon said no more working its hard on me without support in this house i glad things are going well for you i hope it continues i do the best i can i worked since i was 13 now i am 41 on meds for the rest of my life whic is something else that i am not used to i never took meds unless i needed too now i take 9 pills a day sleep a good portion of the day away don't do much still learning to deal with this it doesn't run in our family i was in an accident got hit by a truck while i was riding a 10 speed bike the brakes failed and the driver of the truck didn't see me i left a body implant on his truck my head hit first and that is what they figure has caused it its not cancer this happened about 12 to 15 years ago they fiqure the tumor has been growing for about 12 years i have decided not to have it removed it will take years off of my life but i am ok with that instead of living till i am 80 i will live till i am 70 i believe in the afterlife and God and maybe i was working to much maybe this is his way of stopping me and making slow down and enjoy life i don't know but when my time comes i will find out im still scared to be out anywhere by myself i have never been dependent on people now i have to be and it hurts but i am happy and glad that you are ok and things are good for you

[sueb]

ABC...I had a similar experience yesterday. I have no history of seizures or any health issues. Yesterday (New Years Eve) I was at work standing, talking to a friend when I suddenly stopped talking...made a loud grunting noise....became very stiff and fell to the ground convulsing. I left work in an ambulance. I don't remember anything until I was being wheeled out of the office. I spent the night in the hospital and had an MRI which showed nothing. I work in a call center with about 80 people, so I definately know how you feel about people gawking. I also know that they are people who would never want anything bad to happen to me. I am returning to work tomorrow...will probably be a little embarrassed, but will hold my head high and thank everyone for their concern. Don't let anyone (especially yourself) hold you back from what you want to do.

[Mayre Jo]

Hi!!
I'm 68 years old, a wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. When my kids grew older I went to work full time in the business office of a auto dealership. One of my biggest fears was that I'd have a gran mal right there in front of everybody, (maybe even pee my pants). Oh horror of horrors!!
But after being there a while and getting to know everybody, I realized they're just people who care. And if I'd have broken my leg it would be the same reaction. Those people around you weren't making fun of you in any way. They were people who were concerned and cared!!
So, go back to work and thank them all for their concern and explain, you're a normal person just like anyone else. (Whatever normal is) LOL.
Education is the path to understanding so I feel it's up to us to share our knowledge with others so they'll understand epilepsy. It's our attitude towards ourselves that say more than anything else.

[NMR8177]

Hi Marye Jo, I am here to learn more about how to help someone close to me who has a seizure disorder. Your response got my attention because you have evidently learned to live with you situation and have a positive outlook. I would like to know how old you were when you started having seizures and if you had any problems taking care of your children when they were young. My friend is a young mother who has a 6-month-old baby, and I know she must be terrified that something will happen to him if she has a seizure. Her seizures are fairly well controlled but she has had two of them within the past 3 months. What I'm wondering is if there are things she can to to protect herself and her baby when she is alone with him, or if she should have someone with her all the time? She does have someone most of the time, but there are times that she is alone. When she had the seizures, she was not holding him or alone with him but very well could have been. It is so terrifying to think of what could happen.

[seizure1]

I was diagnosed with epilepsy about 8 years ago...so I know it can be embarrasing to have a seizure in front of people at work.My very first seizure happened at work,was serious AND. I wet my pants there were 10 or 15 x work who witnessed it too!However,I've learned to live with it, am on medication(Dilantin).There is NO reason to be embarrassed..It's a seizure disorder and it's part of our lives.Dilntin gave me less side affects than other med's and has mostly stopped the seizures(average about once a year during my sleep)I hope you go back to work,live a hopeful future and go on med's if you need to..DON'T BE EMBARRASSED..other people are living with it too!Best of luck!!!!!

[Mayre Jo]

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Just got back from vacation.
About motherhood and epilepsy; we take chances in life no matter who we are. I had four children, all c-section, and had the most problem with gran mal seizures when pregnant or shortly after giving birth. I am very lucky to have a great husband who recognized how important it was for me to sleep at night and had no qualms about getting up to give the baby the bottle and change diapers even after a hard day at work. He's a gem!!
Sometimes it takes a combination of drugs for control ansd may even take some experimenting of different drugs, all under a DR'S care to find what works for you. So keep in contact with your doctor.
I do think there are things we can do to live with this disease, which I prefer to call a condition....(I sure don't feel sick!!)... It's very important for me to keep my life on an even keel. Regular meals, sensible diet, the proper amount of rest and excercise are all important for prevention. Normal every day tired is one thing but being overtired is my danger zone. I think that's comon. Of course not missing any doses of my anti seizure medication is VERY mportant.
I was 15 when I had the first gran mal. DR chalked it off to a case of nerves from my parent's divorce. As I look back I remember getting ready for high school, standing in front of the mirror combing my hair and blanking out for a split second but at the time figured I was still half asleep. Second gran mal came just after getting martried at 17 years of age. Thought maybe it was from all the excitment. Third gran mal happened the day I came home from the hospital with our first child. This time I was refered to a neurologist and diagnosed.
My suggestion to the young mother is fear causes stress and stress can lead to seizures. Take good care of your health, don't miss your doses of medication and get on with your life. We can always worry about what if.......What if I slip off the curb and fall? What if I get in an accident. What if, what if??? You are that baby's mother and no one knows your child better than you. Relax and enjoy your baby. Certainly if you get warnings of a seizure, call someone to stay with you or go stay with someone. I've done that.
I refuse to allow this to get in the way of living my life. As they say in the cancer commercial; I have epilepsy, it doesn't have me!!!
I wish the young mother all the best!!!

[NMR8177]

Thank you very much for your response. I will encourage my friend to join this forum or at least forward your post to her. I think this is a much more common condition than we know, but unfortunately I think people who have seizures are afraid to let others know because they are afraid they will think less of them. Maybe the recent media attention given to John Travolta's son will increase public awareness and compassion.