Epilepsy

[densol]

I am 42 years old and one month ago a found myself in the back of an ambulance infront of my house being told by an EMT that I had had a seizure. I spent the rest of the night in the hospital and had lots of tests and nothing was wrong with me. I met with a neurologist a week later and he listened to my story about what I had experienced that night. I had this feeling that I had had a lot in the past, maybe once or twice a month, and when I described the feeling, he said that it was an aura. I did some research on the computer and I believe I have been having complex partial temporal lobe seizures for about 20 years. This is the first one that has resulted in a "gran mal seizure."

So, now I am on keppra 500mg, twice a day and I have read some books and learned a lot about epilepsy which I believe I have. I am scared. I am scared that I will have another seizure and that it will be a big one, and not the kind I used to have. I have done research on how the brian works and believe that now that my partial seizure has progressed to full-blown seizure that the next time the electrical malfuntion in my brain will follow the same path again. I'm afraid to drive, to shower, to be left alone. I wonder if I will just wake up dead. My neurologist can't argue with me. He doesn't know. Nobody knows.

[JanieNut]

Hi - this is my first post too. I was just dx at 52 with partial complex seizures. I have had a really hard time accepting that I have epilepsy. I was dx with many other things over the years to explain my headaches, days in bed recovering from 'nothing', unexplained pain, dizziness, and vision problems, etc. I always wanted to know why I had all those symptoms and no treatment ever helped - It scared the heck out of me. Then I got this dx and that taught me how scared I can get.
I have not had any relief from the medications - it seems I have some weird reaction to epilepsy medicines. It has been a really 'fun' 4 months for me. Wild drug reactions - Wilder emotions. But I am not so scared anymore. I have my life back (I get to drive again!) and I am getting really educated about it all. I am starting to take it one day at a time and, even though I still have all my symptoms, as I am without a full dosing of medicine, I feel emotionally better. Believe me, the first few months were really bad - I hardly got out of my jammies and I have ALWAYS worked. I couldn't have gone to work if you picked me up in a limo. I am back to work and all my other activities.
I hope you will feel stronger too, in time. I really try to live in the moment. Now is all you can focus on. You will cripple yourself worrying about the future - just keep taking your meds 12 hours apart and don't skip doses - Take care of yourself. That is the best you can do without super powers!