Neuropathy

[Bilirubinthesidekick]

Hey to everyone on the forum! :0) I think this is an awesome place and believe that support forums are one of the major resources to receive relief from pain, confusion about a broader topic and camaraderie with others that experience very similar day-to-day lifestyles. However, I am not the one feeling these both physical and emotional issues. As you can tell from my topic tag line, it's someone who is very special and means very much to me. He's a guy that I met through one of my sorority sisters at a university that I recently transferred from. She is his ex- girlfriend and is okay with us dating. In fact, she is recently married and has plans to move to Cali with her Air-force husband. (That may be T.M.I. for you, but, you never know.) Over the period of time that I have had him in my life, I have been extremely interested about his Neuropathy and I am probably searching it on my search engine 10 times more a day then he is. I like to believe that with my nonchalant attitude and my open mind, I've coaxed him to come out of his shell a little and deal with the disorder more openly. Before me, he hadn't seen our group of friends for a good two years. He is living with him mom and dad due to the fact that he was only 22 when he developed his symptoms (he is now 25) and the university is in his hometown. Before now, he only had one friend that consistently visited other than his awesome family.
I'm attending a university two and half hours southwest of him and so It is long distance and I visit him whenever I can. We communicate over MSN, e-mail and also the infamous Myspace. Obviously, despite his limitations, he meets me kinda half-way and he knows that I don't care about how he looks, or what he does due to the neuropathy I sometimes forget that he has a hard time doing things as easily as I do.
*We were in the hot tub "relaxin' out coolin" the other night and the "weather outside was frightful." We were talking about getting out and he was bummed about how cold he was gonna be. I was trying to ease his worry when in the middle of my pep-talk about running to the door I realized and said out loud... "Oh yeah, you can't run to the door." He got a kick out of it and loved the fact that I can often see through his poor motor skills. (Just something to make you giggle too.)
In the short month that I have physically known him, we have had a few serious talks and sometimes argue a little, but fortunately I'm working on my communication skills and I always make sure I tell him that all of the things we discuss are upsetting sometimes because I more than care! I hope that I am helping him realize that no one cares about how he looks or what he can't control. Everyone (his old friends) cannot stop thanking me for being patient with him and making sure that he is included in some more public get-togethers. Although, I'm still not sure what they are thanking me for; if it's the only way that I can include him in my life than so be it.
As someone who may or may not be making a serious commitment for my life, I just wanted to let people know that there are other in the world, though sometimes rare, that understand everything you are going through. Being a current sufferer of anxiety and depression I experience a lot of the same hopeless feelings that someone with a debilitating health issue would experience. Especially the ones that me and my significant other have discussed. Please have hope in those who don't have hope for themselves.
If anyone has any questions for me or about my significant other please reply and I'll try and answer asap.
-Bilirubin the Sidekick

[Sewinator]

Three cheers for you Bilirubin! It's hard when you first get diagnosed because you feel like no one is going to want to be with you. You go through this depression and self pity party for a while. "Who wants to spend their life with a chronically ill person, or a person who is or may be in a wheel chair due to this illness"? It's really hard to want to go out and be social when you've first been diagnosed.

Once you have learned to "accept" your limitations and adjust your life to the changes, hopefully you get over the depression and withdrawal and get back to real life. However, other people in your life sometimes have a hard time adjusting to the "new" you. You don't look any different, so it's hard for them to remember you are sick. Learning to be strong and sticking to your boundaries is a big part of being comfortable and learning to deal with the pain from this disease. AND, the less pain we are in, the nicer we are, and the more social we fee.

Keep up the support for your friend and remember, he will need more rest and patience sometimes when his pain levels are up.

God Bless you