[livingwith]

Nick was in a car accident when he was 17 and is a TBI survivor.It has been almost ten years since the accident. He is living with me (his mom ) in NY and works part time. He is able to drive, care for himself, and is in a relationship with a wonderful girl that is very understanding of Nick’s challenges. Nick still has some weakness on his right side and he gets fatigued when he has to concentrate for long periods of time. His short term memory means lots of reminding or reputation to get...Read the full article

[ohio4hmom]

Tammy,
I too am a mom of a TBI survivor. Though Kaitie has just passed her one year anniversary of the accident that changed our lives forever, I completely understand how Nick's story has played out. While its still so fresh in our lives, there are many challenges I struggle with daily, as I'm sure you did as well.

It is a miracle that Kaitie is with us. She was hit directly in her passenger door by a fully loaded semi travelling 55mph on her last day of school of her Junior year. She continues to heal, graduated in May, has registered for college and will be 18 in July. Still, with all these accomplishments, as a mom I find myself being angry when people don't understand behavior issues, impulsiveness, mood swings, etc. So from one mom/survivor to another, you've done a great job and tell Nick to keep up the good work!

[bfish]

My name is Brenda and I am also a mom to a TBU survivor. My son, Tyler, was ran over by a jeep while off-roading in September 2008. He wasn't expected to be alive when he reached the hospital by life-flight, and he was. He wasn't expected to survive through the night, and he did. Thank God we live in the Houston area and he was flown to Memorial Hermann. The doctors and nurses there are truly amazing.

He suffered mutliple skull fractures and contusions, a subdural hemotoma, which had to be surgically removed the first night. He began waking up from his coma on day 8 and spent a total of 29 days in the hospital. He then spent 2 weeks in intensive rehabilitation, learning how to balance himself and walk, swallow, communicate (talk), and much more. He then moved to another inpatient rehab center for another month, and continued with outpatient rehap for another month.

It has now been 9 months since his accident. He was able to return to highschool in February 2009 for 1/2 days, because he gets mentally exhausted very easily. He has no physical limitations and looking at him you can not tell that he has suffered a traumatic injury, except for his trache scare. However, at times, he is very impulsive and rude (very vulgar language), especially when he is tired or hungry. When he first came home, in addition to his impulsivity, he was physically violent at times. He now sees a pshychiatrist on a monthly basis, and takes Depakote and Focalin, which treats mood swings and ADHD. These medicines have been life savers. He is still impulsive and uses explicit language at times, but is no longer violent.

I have a blended family, 2 sons (including Tyler) from a previous marriage, a step-son (he lives with us), my husband, and my youngest son (with my husband now).

Step-son (18), Tyler (17), my son (15), my youngest (6).

My husband and my step-son are not understanding of Tyler's behavior. They believe that it can be corrected by discipline. We are going through a very rough time right now. I am so thankful that my son is alive and is doing as well as he is. He may not improve much more and may need to live with me for the remainder of his/my life. I am very tolerable of his behaviors, because I know the alternatives could have been so much worse. His brothers (my other son and my youngest) are also very understanding and most of the time tolerable. I think it's because we truly, deeply love him. As to where, my husband and step-son do not share the same feelings.

Our lives are forever changed as well. My husband and my step-son are moving out. Both of them keep my son stressed out (me too for that matter) and I know it has to hinder his ability to heal. We are going to try and stay married, but not sure how this will work long term. My priority are my kids for the rest of my life. TBI survivors and caregivers are forever changed after such an event. I accept and love my son the way he is, but it's hard for other people to do the same.

[ohio4hmom]

Brenda, I am so sorry for your stress but I understand. I get so mad at people when they say my daughter is "fine". She's not "fine". She'll never be "fine" again. They look at her and think she looks normal but what they don't see is the fact if she doesn't take her medication daily that the mood swings, anger, breakdowns come quickly and without warning.

Then of course there is the language issue. She's getting better at it but there are times that the 4 letter words flow without her thinking about it. People just don't get it. My oldest daugthers fiancae thinks its her choice (as do many others) but its not. She doesn't even understand about the mood swings. Her impulsiveness has/can get her into trouble and I fear every day that her life will not be what she wanted it to be.

Most people do not understand that when an accident like the ones that happened to my daughter and your son happens, its not just to them... its to us as well and its forever.

My prayers are with you all.