Traumatic Brain Injury

[Adam R Morgan]

June 3rd 2007 I fell from my skateboard while going downhill approx 25 miles an hour. I was not wearing a helmet and have been in the three hospitals for a total of two and a half months. I have been home now for three days and am finding it diffucult to acclimate to my surroundings. Things that previously would not have bothered me before my injury are now making me increasingly frustrated. While I am able to control my frustration in a limited fashion. I can see the effect it has on my attitude towards other aspects of life. I had initially thought that getting back in to my home life would be an easy transition. It now has being revealed to me that this is not as easy as I had thought. Certain aspects that did not bother me at the hospitals I was at are now becoming a problem. Thankfully I have the support of my parents but it still can be unbearable at times. I am wondering how long this will take for recovery or even will these symptoms persist after I have had doctors clearance for my disability. I guess only time will tell. If there is anyone out there that has any advice on returning home I would greatly appreciate it. This I think is a good way to deal with the problems that I am now facing. I will continue to write here as a conitnuation of my healing.

[curt]

I read about a skateboarder that fell going down the hill at the notch in Stowe, VT, about the same time that you fell, would you be that person? Depending on what part of your brain was injured you will have different effects, the frontal lobes as well as the temporal lobes can have emotional responses. It takes time to heal and some things may not get better but you will find ways to cope, good luck. Let us know how you progess

[Adam R Morgan]

My injury happened in a bodega bay california. I fell on my back and it slammed the right side of my head into the ground. The day it happened I was on the surgery table and the neurologist removed "bruised tissue". I was told that it was the size of a fifty cent piece spherical. The doctors said that I only had right side damage but the education I recieved at Casa Colina hospital made me think that the doctors original diagnosis may have been less than what had actually happened. I forget the term they used but it describes when the brain moves violently back and forth between the skull. The doctors said that I don't really have any speech problems but periodically I do have trouble finding words for simple things. When I had asked them about symptoms of my injury they simply said "oh thats a brain injury". Always giving me vague responses to my questions. Just another thing adding to my already growing list of frustraions. This as would for anyone troubles me greatly.

[Adam R Morgan]

Well, It has been three weeks since I have returned home. Over the weekend I hosted a BBQ. Presumeably a simple task. Being as I hosted these on a regular basis previous to my injury. I incinerated the turkey legs and the hamburgers, well, got extra cooked as they did not stay together and fell into the pit. Although my freinds were not concerned about the food. The looks on their faces was enough to show that they were concerned about how I became frustrated so easily. Though they did not voice their concerns it was apparent that it was there. A scary notion for me. Never before have I seen such looks on their faces. I was usually the one to bring the smile to their faces, now they could not to me.
I am finding that information that I had not lost is gone i.e. routes around town. I have to think about a way to get across town when before I could think of this instintaneously. On a good note I can remember song lyrics like nothing ever happened. woo. Everyday I find something that I have forgoten. It also seems as if the progression of my healing has become stagnant. No recession but no progression either. Although a little over three months has passed since I fell. I find myself not knowing what to think about the progression of my healing. Even though I am home and in outpatient therapy things are not as I had expected them to be. Though I had a thought that they would not be. Recovery is a matter of time and it seems to be running thin. As in the past I will endure any hardship. This is no different, only the gravity of the situation has changed.

[mikecharlton]

I suffered a concussion 16 months ago. I too have had problems with irritability, anger - even rage. Including headaches memory and attention problems, etc... Only thing I can say is that it gets better. I also have noticed a plateau in my recovery. It has been explained to me that I will never be the same person I was. That has been the hardest thing to come to terms with. Friends and family are hit the hardest, though. Especially those close to you. I alienated my wife and kids, and thought I was the only one in the world with these problems. I came a hairs breadth to divorce. Things started getting better when I allowed myself to grieve my loss. My wife had to pick up the slack and pretty much do everything, which also caused problems in our relationship. Things are better today, but it hasn't been easy. I am taking a cognitive skills class, which has helped to learn new ways to do the things I did before. Change happens, but in our case it happened in a second. It was like I instantly aged 20 years. I relate to elderly folks who have some of the same problems I have.

[12shan24]

I find this interesting. I too had serious head trauma on my right side. However, mine was on my front and side temporal area. I however, was very combative and belligerent. My CT scans are also under represented. My xrays were so blurry and spotty because I would not stay still-- The also have me listed as not having been unconscious, however, I was unconscious. Before medics arrived on the scene , and I only became belligerent once on the ambulance, being transported (a 2-3 hour ride) and medics administered the sternum rub (over and over and over again).

It has been 13 years since my accident. I have much compassion for what you are experiencing. After my incident, I became someone else (for lack of better words). I think, I suffered a serious identity crisis because I could no longer identify with "things" in my every day life. I became very mean, depressed, and even suicidal. Before the accident I was a 3.6 sterling scholar, team captain for all sports, raced motorcycles, and was able to draw-paint-- etc.

To date- I am slowly picking up the pieces. I have had to have a lot of emotional, rehabilitation, and mental health counseling.

I am still amazed to hear about your story. Please keep your chin up-

Shannon

[Adam R Morgan]

I can understand your anger after of your injury. I, too, was combative. So combative, in fact, that the emergency room I was brought to tried to get CT scans of my head, I thrashed about so much that I broke the CT machine. On a funny note, Palm drive hospital was trying to get a new CT machine, so I guess I helped them out a bit and I didn't get charged for the machine :) This anger was directed at people that did not deserve it, as they were my family and had nothing to do with me falling. I had also treated the nurses in a very improper manner, at one time grabbing one of the women's breasts saying "I can't trust you I haven't touched your tits yet!" This action was told to me by my mom, she was there as I said it. This anger was told to me weeks after my injury occurred. The first few weeks I remember very little, I do not remember such aggression. Unlike other injuries of our kind, however, I have managed a speedy recovery, though not a full recovery. There are still aspects of my life that are very different but the person I was and am now have very subtle differences. The main problems are identifying with something at one moment but at another completely disagreeing with it. It is not nessesarily confusion but my mind flips from on line of thought to another quickly, this always confuses the person I am talking to and mostly frustrates the h*** out of me as I am not able to focus my thoughts.
It troubles me to hear of others that have had similar injuries still struggling to manage everyday life, but at the same time it is soothing to hear that I am not the only person out there with these types of difficulties. I hope for your full recovery and know that however long said recovery takes, it will be not only long awaited but greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your reply,
Adam

[adaminnj]

17 years after my accident I still have little to no time for fools and I to still lash out, fight, and argue with people who set me off. Luckily I know when it starts and I can usually just walk off and scream it out by my self when it comes to family (if I go that far anymore). There are times when I go a bit over board when it comes to dealing with my wife and kid for a split second, then I tell them I need time to come down before we can continue. (one of us needs a time out)

I wish I had a better answer for you but it seems like everyone needs to find the best way to deal with the crazy angry person who pops out from time to time. for me it's trying to be very contious of what I say and think about who I'm saying it too. One thing my angry crazy has done is limit the buffer I use to have when dealing with people and I have little respect for feelings when it come to being honest about advice. I tend to start with bad and end with good when working on problems and issues. People feel like an attack is being made if you start with the bad.

As for Doctors, I have seen nothing but quacks who will tell me I'm not having a headache while I'm throwing up in there office from brain pain and they tell me they cant explain the symptoms I have even though my MRI shows that a good portion of my right brain is scar tissue.

I feel for new survivor who have to deal with the changes to their lives. it just doesn't get any better and every day I ask myself if its worth going on.

It took years to have something to latch onto (my wife and kid) a reason to go on and if it was not for them at this point I'm not sure how I would be dealing with the daily head pain, depression, and frustration. As well I have lived through much ridicule and disappointment to get to where I am today.

My best advice is to understand that any symptoms you have like the anger is something you will need to deal with the rest of your life and that it could cause trouble if you don't find tricks to mask it. and as for the depression you may or may not feel is a direct symptom of the head injury. Focus on the good, know who is important to you and explain to them that sometimes you might have an inability to control anger from time to time and that it will pass but you will need a certain amount of space.

I've lost friends because they could not deal with who I can be from time to time.
Adjust and overcome I'll bet you have important things to offer the world.

I wish I had better advice and or a magic pill for you but I don't.

[adaminnj]

in my last post I said 17 years after, I meant 27 years after my accident happened Sept. 6 1982

Opps I did have a TBI ;)

Adam